Year 8 Bullying..

Not only did I have a new diagnosis of another medical condition going on and trying to control it on my own as I was embarrassed by the condition and I didn’t want it to be seen as a weakness by others in my class but yet again I was experiencing  the wonderful joys of bullying because bullies just seemed to love me

Anyway yeah the bullying now had got a lot worse from when I was in junior school with silly little comments which really looking back now weren’t all that offensive or hurtful but obviously were at the time and things had gotten worse since last year in secondary school as I had been bullied but it wasn’t like serious bullying just stupid little things and boys trying to get me into trouble with the teachers and our head of year especially and you know yeah but this year in year 8 obviously we had now been at secondary school for a whole year and were just in our second year now so everyone knew each other more and had gotten to know one another better and friendship groups were starting to form which all sounds great and it was for the others but not so much for me in all honesty as Ok I did have some new friends such as Shelby,Cherie , Jade and Emily  but that was pretty much all I had obviously I had Daniel and Emma as well but compared to the other children in my year this was nothing and so I became yet again the victim of bullying because of how shy and quiet I was as I preferred to keep myself to myself and just get on with school and get home as soon as possible after school and I admit I did use my work as a distraction thinking oh if I concentrate more on my work not that I wasn’t concentrating a lot anyway as with my hearing I did find it hard to always hear what the teacher was saying or things in videos we were watching  so I was a victim of bullying for the fact that I actually concentrated on work and hadn’t had any detentions so far so began silly name calling like teachers pet,boffin, nerd, geek , swotty potty and so on which was quite hurtful and hard for me to hear and deal with because they didn’t know what was really going on in my life or the first thing about me and yet they thought they had the right to judge me on what they really had no idea on which killed me deep down although I tried not to let these silly things get to me because I mean what was the point ? and so the more the bullying increased the more effort I put into my work to use it as an escape or a distraction from the bullying which did work in class but as soon as I got home everything fell apart and I couldn’t cope with it and I let my real emotions out but unfortunately in the wrong way by taking it out on my parents and those closest to me and I would get myself in a right state over homework writing pages and pages and pages just to try to keep the bullying away as I thought by doing this I wouldn’t need to worry about the bullies and it would take my mind of things which it did and it didn’t .It did in the fact that when I was in class I just completely zoned out and my work and getting home was my only priority but it didn’t work as I didn’t speak up about what was going on or do anything about the fact they were making these nasty comments and I allowed them to walk all over me and it didn’t work because as soon as I got home my wall crumbled away and the real hurt ,frustrated,angry, upset, confused me came out

 

Sadly things got worse than this as I then began receiving comments from the boys in my class about my family which killed me to hear them saying awful things about my parents and how they should have aborted me and what sort of parents would want me , how my parents never wanted me , how they didn’t love me ,how they hated me and what I had brought on them in life, (this actually makes me feel quite emotional just writing this) I then started being called names such as the  black sheep  of my family which means an outsider the one who is different in a way that others disapprove of or find odd and can be someone who has been shunned by others or chooses to be an outsider by their actions and is a disgrace  and this boy who started all these awful comments also turned round and called my mum and dad awful names that I can’t ever bare to think of and decided to go and tell my head of year and the other boys in our tutor that my dad and I were growing weed(cannabis) in our garden and how I was drug dealing .Which I ended up getting called out of class by my head of year who said how there had been rumors about it  and was it true which obviously no it wasn’t true at all so he then asked why they were saying things like that and where they had got it from which I really have no idea because it couldn’t have been any further from the truth .I only ever told my mum and dad about the growing drugs and being a drug dealer comment , the black sheep and a few of the comments about them but I could never bring myself to tell them everything that had been said about them purely  because it killed me and hurt me so much there really no words or way of telling them .Sadly this same boy still wanted to make my life a misery and as awful as he could so he didn’t stop there

 

One English lesson  we had a trainee teacher as well as our normal teacher and TA in the class room so three members of staff in the room which I felt safer knowing as the boy was put on the same table as I was for the lesson as we had been split into small groups and some how god knows how I ended up with him in the same group which I couldn’t believe as I knew exactly what he would do and he did he sat there most of the lesson trying to wind me up and making nasty comments about me and too me and the others on the table seemed to find this funny which was no help at all what so ever and I said something back to him as he was just getting to me too much and I know I would lose it and end up walking out of the class if he gave me any more hassle what annoyed me more was the fact the trainee teacher knew he was purposely   winding me up and making these comments as she over heard a few and how fed up I looked and every so often came up to me to ask if I was ok and if he was giving me any problems which he instantly tried to do the whole cheeky chappy what me think and as soon as she walked off he said something else and he said something which I can’t remember what the comment was  but it then led onto another comment about my hair colour being ginger and next  thing I knew he’d got up from his seat and walked round behind me and put a lighter to my hair like fully light and out of the corner of my eye I could see the flame from the lighter I didn’t know what to do all the others on the same table as us were just rolling around laughing at this whilst I was sat there thinking to myself just sit still don’t move your head don’t move an inch don’t do a thing which thankfully I didn’t ,I was so grateful when the trainee teacher came over as he quickly took the lighter away from my hair and put it away  and I was just hoping and praying the whole time he had that lighter to my hair that someone anyone would see and say something but nothing what annoyed me more was the fact that none of the teachers saw anything happen and some how he got sent out of the room shortly after it had happened and I must have looked so frightened as the trainee teacher asked again was I ok and what had happened so I said how he had his lighter out but never said anything about him putting it to my hair and the others on the table said that I was lying which didn’t help at all the one time I really needed someone to have sat there and backed me up but no nothing which killed me .However seeing as nothing had been done I knew I had to do something about it as I didn’t want him to do it again to me or someone else I mean what if next time he really did set my hair alight ? So I got up the courage to go to the staff room and knocked on the door and ask for my tutor and in basic form told her some of the comments that had been said and about the lighter and she said she would speak to him later and sort it out for me before heading back in the staff room .Nothing was done

 

 

I got home from school that night and as soon as I walked in the front door and saw my mum I just burst into tears where I had bottled it up all day and been so worried throughout all my other lessons about what if it happened again as I had other lessons with him and he was in my tutor group and told my mum everything and she got straight on the phone to my head of year about it I was glad I told her as I was so frightened that day and in all honest I’ve never been anywhere near as frightened as what I was that day #

 

The next day at school was awkward as I had to go and write a statement against him saying what had happened and he had been asked to go into school later by our head of year as he wanted to speak with him but it was awkward and hard because :

 

A)I’d never had to write a statement against one of my bullies before

b) I knew my statement would be taken into consideration of what happened to him

c) He walked in through the office whilst I was sitting with the receptionist talking through what happened whilst she typed the statement up

 

The rest of the day was so awkward just walking around school knowing I’d made a statement against him which I knew really was a good think but at the same time it wasn’t if he and when he found out that I had done this and I just worried about how he would take it ? , how would he react? , would he do something to me ? what was going to happen if he found ?, what would be said to him , would he get his friends on me ? .It was a very long day of waiting for the result and the school trying to keep him away from me as much as possible but when I got home that evening my mum received a phone call from my head of year saying he had been suspended for what he had said and done to me along with a few other issues which had happened and it felt good knowing I was a part of him being suspended from school knowing I helped that decision be made over him .It was one of the best feelings I’ve ever had and he wasn’t allowed back into school he had to go to park-side which was a school for the naughty kids or kids who couldn’t cope in school for whatever reason but mostly because they had been kicked out of school so yeah it was nice knowing I shouldn’t be seeing him in school any more but this didn’t mean the bullying was over it was far from it and so where the problems I was going to face later on …..

 

My year 8 Tutor group

 

 

 

Me,Danielle,Hope and Lauren (only wanted me in this pic to make them look better they didn’t actually like me)

 

 

 

me in year 8

 

 

The Preparation of moving school ..

After being bullied for the past  2 years non stop with no help or support from the school and constantly fighting a brick wall and not getting any where  and with me constantly refusing to go into school because I absolutely hated the thought of having to be bullied day in and day out for something which I couldn’t help it got to a point were one morning as usual I was refusing to go in and dad had already left for work and mum realized what was the point in forcing me in to school any more we wasn’t getting anywhere constantly going up to the school I wasn’t happy and defiantly didn’t feel safe in school so this was when we made the decision for me to move schools.

So that was it decision made this was it I was going to move junior school to get away from the bullying, My parents decided on one of the other junior schools which was right at the other end of town but however we had heard good things about the school as one of my friends from nursery who also went to the same previous junior school but didn’t get on there and had moved to this school and well the only issue that stood in the way was how I would get there every day and get home of a night but this was quickly resolved as my friend who had moved to this school whose mum was friends with my mum offered to take me there and back every day so that was a new school found and transport sorted now to just get accepted into the school and start .First I had to go and visit the school to see what I thought of it

I vaguely remember visiting my new school all thought it is kind of  fuzzy because it was so long ago the only thing I can remember from visiting my potential new school was that I really liked the look of the new school  and from taking a tour around the school I knew instantly that appearance wise it looked soo much better than my previous junior school which was encouraging one thing I remember I couldn’t get my head around and find quite funny now looking back at it was the fact that the school in two areas had stairs leading to two upstairs classrooms which I thought was really bizarre since when did schools have stairs .Also as I was having my tour around the new school not once did it cross my mind what if I get bullied here because I had already been told about their anti bullying system and wasn’t worried about anything .In fact I was just over the moon to be getting away from the bullies at my previous school

I remember then and there my place was confirmed and I was accepted into the school and just thinking yes thank god this is finally my time to be able to escape I finally could get away from the bullies but I knew I would have to go face the bullies maybe for a few months until I could start at this new school but no not at all I was told I could start the very next day which came as a HUGGEE shock but a very good one at that again I was completely over the moon this was it I really was leaving my old school

Now for the tricky bit going back to my old school and telling them I was leaving how would they take this ? ….