Today is the day. Today, I have my follow-up appointment with my consultant Joe Manjaly.I can’t lie. I’m nervous about today’s appointment, which is unlike me. What wrong with me as of late? Nervous? Anxious? Stressed? Worried? It seems I do have feelings and emotions after all. Who would’ve thought it, hey?! I very much blame old age and parenting for that one.. I’m only nervous due to how quickly this appointment has come about and because, typically, my appointments are 15-20 minutes.
The appointment has come through super quickly, I was partly expecting this. Joe had told me as soon as he knew anything with the fluid result he would call me (that was the Friday late afternoon), by Monday lunchtime I had recieved that phone call, however I was at work so had missed it, only discovering it a short while later after my shift had ended.
I essentially have a double appointment, which is great because I honestly love Joe, and I do feel we have a lot to discuss. Although my mind is going 10091 miles an hour over thinking that there’s more to it- as friends have said ,if it was something awful they wouldn’t have made me wait until today, I would have been asked to come in earlier. True I can’t argue that.
I can’t lie, it’s still very much a struggle being Ear-less travelling to appointments but again this morning I’ve had a battle to get the osia on and to stay put, so I’ve given up trying as I’m just getting frustrated, which isn’t needed. I do, however, eventually manage to get it on once on the train – of all places, you would think with the motion/ movement it would be less likely to go on,but apparently not…
My appointment is booked for 12 pm. I arrive in London early, as always, however today I take the time to pop to Boots at Liverpool Street station. I’ve discovered I don’t have any earrings in,so now I feel naked and rather self-conscious, so I need to rectify this. I don’t manage to secure any earrings,however it’s not a wasted visit as I manage to use the photo printing machines and print some photos of my daughter that I’ve been meaning to do, in preparation for her birthday so it’s not all bad.. I do partly wish I’d done it on the way home as I’m struggling to fit them into my bag.. but hey, if I did, I’d probably have forgotten all about it by the time I head home.
Once I’ve got the photos printed- it literally takes a matter of minutes . I then head over to get the tubes across to the hospital.
I’m still really early for my appointment . I’m thankful for this, as it gives me a chance to grab a coffee , read a couple of chapters of my book, give myself some pep talks and calm down the nerves/ over thinking (reading, writing, walking, coffee or any hot drink really and pep talks usually work as does music)
11.35am I head up to the 5th floor ( I had already checked in at main reception, when I first arrived so it was one less thing to do and I could get that out the way ASAP- I hate doing it in case of any unexpected questions/ hearing stuff)
The hospital entrance/ cafe Area and the 5th floor are spookily quiet, especially given its lunchtime, I’ve only ever seen it this quiet at the end of the day when I’m practically ,or even quite literally ( last visit) being locked in. There is literally just myself and one other person waiting on the 5th floor, and we’re both at different ends of the corridor.. weird…
11:40 am I arrive on the 5th floor. Within a minute or two, I vaguely hear a female voice calling for someone, but I’m not really paying attention and don’t take much notice of this.I assume they’re calling the other patient through. With no response, I notice the lady walking towards me she approaches and asks, “ Are you Bethan?” I confirm I am, she kindly asks.”we‘re ready for you. Did you want to come through?” I’m confused. I didn’t think I was seeing audiology today? What’s going on? Have I got muddled?
I’m not sure if she sensed my confusion , but she turns around while I’m following her through and says ” Joe Manjaly is in the room waiting for you , we’ve met before I’m Ellie” the penny drops.. It’s Ellie, Joe’s registrar, I saw on my first admission. Ellie, who passed on the message to Joe, that I was being admitted. In my defence.. I’ve never seen Ellie out of her scrubs and hair tightly back in a neat bun. Today, she’s in usual smart/ work attire and has her hair down.
I will admit I didn’t ask or say everything I wanted to say.I honestly don’t know why, as I had a lot I wanted to say and discuss with Joe. I know I really should have done, especially having gone in 15 minutes earlier, and I’m booked in for a 30-minute appointment. knowing the waiting area was really quiet, I should’ve just gone for it, especially knowing Fred,Bob,Susan,Jane, etc, weren’t waiting for him. I wouldn’t need to feel as though I was overruning into someone else’s appointment time.
Knowing I had time and this was my time with Joe, I should have taken the time. However, I did also think well what if he’s going on lunch after seeing me? What if he’s got to see a patient on the wards, etc? I don’t want to be taking him away from them either. Joe never ever makes me feel rushed, by the way. It’s me that overthinks and worries about eating into his and other patients’ time.
I follow Ellie through, there’s Joe sitting ready and waiting for me as promised. Once I’m in the room and we’re past all of the initial hello’s and greetings , Joe smiles and asks “so whose going to speak first then?” I stupidly assume he is talking to Ellie,so I look between them both so I can identify who is going to speak to focus on them and lip read.
A slight pause.. Joe then says, ” Shall I go first? He meant me or him.. Had I realised he meant who was speaking first, me or him, I would’ve opted to go first. I never go first, but today I have a lot of questions and lots I would like to discuss. Usually, I’m very much happy to follow Joe’s lead ( I am today don’t get me wrong by any means)
Joe speaks first and asks how I am, how I’m getting on, what the update is, and what’s been going on since I last saw him? I say that not a lot has been going on since I last saw him, Joe asked good way? Bad way? Or bit of both? I say a bit of both. I mean it’s good because things haven’t got any worse, things have definitely got better compared to the last few weeks, however I do still have some pain/discomfort and tenderness to the site- but it has improved, absolutely nothing like before.
I fill Joe in on everything that happened with audiology ( I saw them straight after Joe’s appointment before I was discharged) I explained how we had successfully managed to move the magnet strength down to a 2, something I didn’t believe was possible, as we’ve just never been able to do it before.
I discuss with Joe how this is going and how I feel like I can’t hear as much as I could compared to when I had the strength 3, like the connection between the two magnets isn’t fully there or strong enough. Joe replies ” righhtt” I instantly know what he’s thinking and say I know, I know what you’re going to say but in terms of security of the processor doing simple things like loading the washing machine, walking my daughter to nursery it repeatedly falls off and without the safety line it would be long gone. ( Joe is very much team strength 2.. I’ll explain more shortly)
Joe is amazing, though, and it’s never just cut and dry. He always listens to what I have to say and is happy to follow my lead within reason, of course. Joe asks whether it’s worth us getting audiology involved again to take a look at what’s going on. I know Joe would like me to stay on strength 2 as its believed it could be the pressure of magnet strength causing the issues for me, it would also mean if I could move down to the 2 I would and should be able to get more usage from the Osia.
I agree with Joe that I think it’s a good idea to get audiology to take a look. I say to Joe how I know he’s not against me moving back to strength 3,but equally I know it’s not what we want and how the lower the strength the more ideal this is for us, as we believe this is what is causing the skin reactions as well as the infections/issues. I can and do totally understand this. Joe as I say is amazing, he agrees yes this is all very true, and reassures that it is absolutely fine if this is something I want to do/ approach and look into ,if I’m not fully happy with the connections and security of the processor/magnet, then we absolutely do look into that.
Joe asks if he can have a look at the Osia site, absolutely its as much his as it is mine. Joe takes a look and is really happy with how the site is looking- Joe tells me how it looks right now is looking as good as he could hope for, this is massively reassuring to know that things are looking good and we’re headed in the right direction ,phew.
Joe addresses the continued pain/ discomfort, saying that he is aware that I’ve mentioned this and asks how it’s faring. it’s absolutely not the worst, but it’s still there. Prior to the issues at the end of January/ early February, I didn’t have any pain or discomfort at all. Joe explains how unfortunately he thinks I could now always have some pain or discomfort,so it’s more a management thing now of how we manage it and work with it, if we need to call it a day due to the pain etc. It’s absolutely not awful enough to remove. It’s bareable.
Joe is happy and comments on how he can see. I’m still very much wearing the osia and persisting with it. Absolutely, there is no way I’m giving up on it, as long as I’ve got a chance and there’s no reason why we have to remove ,then absolutely I’m going to grab any chance and keep persisting,I’m not prepared to give up that easily or without a fight. Joe is super reassuring and tells me that this is absolutely fine. Nobody is talking of me giving it up. Phew, I can’t lie,I do panic for a split second as to where this was heading.
I explain to Joe ,how I really don’t want it to get to that level or point that I end up loosing it.im not worried if I have ongoing discomfort/ tenderness etc as long as I can keep it and keep going.
Joe says in terms of infection at this moment in time, he’s really happy and that I’m making progress. Honestly, it’s a relief to hear that. Joe asks if there’s anything else I want to know or ask? At first I say no,I don’t think so,though I’m sat there screaming at myself, yes,yes there is ,there is, for goodness sakes just say it, just ask ,speak woman, get your notepad out, ask ,just do it for goodness sakes.
After a moment or two ,I surprise myself and say yes, actually there is something.. blimey, she’s doing it. Usually, I’m “no,no,nothing to ask/ contribute or say.” I ask about the fluid that was tested, whether anything has come of it? Joe says how he doesn’t think anything came of it,but he can check for me – this is something that’s given me sleepless nights I need to know. Joe, thankfully, has access to the results on the computer,so he asks Ellie if there is anything showing on the sample results. She says no, she doesn’t think so, but Joe also checks.
I don’t tell Joe it’s had me worried or that I’ve had sleepless nights over it. However, I do think he knows as I never really ask anything. The results haven’t actually been back all that long, but again, Joe confirms that there’s nothing significant showing. This has me questioning and doubting. If it’s not significant, does that still mean something? Or does that mean there’s nothing?
I’m brave and surprised myself for a second time asking Joe what this means exactly . Joe explains that there’s nothing concerning or anything that will make any difference. Thoughts come back saying “positive cocci,” so I’m thinking maybe it was an infection, but the iv antibiotics killed it off? Or we caught it early, and the antibiotics prevented anything further coming of it? Joe asks if it made any difference, having the fluid removed – instantly, no, it didn’t – at first, it made me feel more unwell. However, by that evening, yes, I did feel a massive improvement. I can’t however be sure if that is linked to the removal of fluid or if it was from the chat we had, along with chatting and opening up with my cousin and a few other people that helped me to turn that corner.
I’m hopeful that whatever it was has gone now and has been killed off, as I can’t lie I was massively panicking knowing there essentially was fluid on my head, that sends your minds to all sorts of horrid places.
Joe tells me in terms of infection, right now I do not have an active infection, I have no signs of an infection and going forward right now Joe doesn’t believe I’m at risk of an infection. Which is massive. I couldn’t ask to hear better news ,it’s a massive relief. Ellie also takes a look and is in agreement that she too doesn’t see any signs of infection, which everyone is really pleased about, we couldn’t ask for better.
Joe asks if I’m still getting good benefit from the Osia despite only wearing it for 1-2 hours per day,which is much lower than any of us would like,but it’s better than nothing I’m not ready to quit and give up.i want to keep pushing forward and trying to build up. I am still getting good benefit, Joe asks what these are. I say how life changing it has been, Joe asks how,in what way? – he does so in a kind and curious way,it doesn’t come across pushy at all. It’s important for Joe to know as it’s still relatively new, it’s a fairly niche device, so it’s helpful for him to know to be able to let other potential patients know.
I explain how it gives me speech clarity, everything is just so much easier I don’t have to second guess or overthink things as much, I can follow and understand conversation so much better and with ease- I’ve never heard conversation like it ever before. I say how I’m less anxious, less frustrated when I’m wearing it, my fatigue is drastically improved, I can function, and I feel human- says a lot as a parent to a toddler, too It’s giving me a new lease of life and my independence. I tell him how my daughter can tell when I’m wearing it and when I’m not as she too is less frustrated with me. We’re both able to communicate and understand each other much better and effectively . My daughter can tell when I’m unable to hear an understand her making comments such as ” mummy put ears on”, “mummy need ears” “Mummy listening ears” – mum life at it’s finest.. this is absolutely not something I say 1001 times a day 🤣 “yay my mummy back.” Honestly, that last one 🥺..
I do, however, tell Joe I can’t localise sounds, something that the Osia is supposed to be really good for, however I’ve never been able to localise sounds so that’s not necessarily an Osia thing. I can see Joe sitting there questioning this one, and I’m ready for it. Let’s explore it. Joe asks whether he thinks with time I can or will gain sound location with the Osia, I’m honest an say how I don’t know if it’s something I can or will ever achieve, if I can’t or don’t, I’m ok with that.
If I’m brutally honest with myself yes I do hope I will gain this skill but if I’m honest and realistic I don’t think I will, I’m not expecting it- however I can say with certainty that I can hear things in the distance better than I could before I just have no idea where it’s coming from- to my left ,to my right, in front of me, behind me, If a car has already gone or ifs approaching and how far away it is.
We back track slightly and talk about my BAHA and comparisons between the two before Joe asks how old I was when I got my BAHA- I know were absolutely looking into my lack of sound localisation and I’m all for it ,this is probably the first time I’ve admitted this to anyone. I was 18 when I actually got implanted, though I began the process age 16. Joe says, ” oh OK quite late on then,” and asks why I got one so late. Why didn’t I get one earlier. Perfectly valid question as I could’ve had one on a headband from a few months old and implanted as young as 5 years old.
It just was never something that was mentioned to my parents as being an option and nobody ever mentioned it to me as I grew either, none of us had ever heard of them until I was maybe 15 then I heard of them but I thought it was something only avaliable in America, until I attended a Microtia Mingle and met two girls close in age to myself who had BAHA and how well they were coping, whereas there was me sat there fully reliant and dependant on my parents. It was a no brainer from that second I wanted one,I had to try this. I needed this.
My mum had heard of Cochlear Implants and did approach this when I was younger, however she had been told this wasn’t an option- which is correct for grade 3 Microtia ,however they never directed my parents saying anything along the lines of ” a cochlear implant wouldn’t be suitable to Bethan due to her microtia/ ear anatomy however we could offer her a BAHA” or “No that wouldn’t be an option however a BAHA would/ could be” it was just a cochlear implant isn’t an option No.End of conversation, which it didn’t need and shouldn’t have been.
Joe unfortunately says how he can understand this as unfortunately this is the big issue with Single Sided Deafness (SSD) that it wasn’t (still isn’t) fully recognised and nor are the impacts of it.The attitude was very much If you have one ear with hearing,your fine- absolutely not true,I mean it can be but isn’t always.- yet again this would have been another perfect opportunity to have interjected about how I very much agree,I absolutely do I’ve seen it a lot over the last 28/29 years,but I could have also interjected with how this is nlw something I’m expirencing with my daughter who has newly been diagnosed (literally 2 days ago- check out the previous blog) but of course I didn’t,I should have but I’m sure there will be another opportunity another day to raise it.
Joe explains because I was implanted later in life how this could be the reason why I can’t locate/ have no directional sounds as this part of my brain has most likely shut down now. Joe explains how if I had been implanted at a younger age there’s a higher chance I would be able to locate ans have directional sounds- can’t lie this is a little hard to hear,but it’s nothing I don’t know or haven’t questioned myself,but it’s just one of those things really nothing anyone can do about it. One of many reasons why I try to do what I can for deaf awareness to change this for someone else. Ultimately though Joe does say even if I had been implanted at a younger age or had the headband ,it still can’t be said with any certainty or guaranteed that I would be able to do so, it could just be a me thing or one of those things, like some people just never learn how to swim. Some people just can’t do it or don’t learn how.
Joe goes on to say how if I had been born bilaterally deaf ( deaf in both ears) like I am now.. although technically I was born with a 10% loss left sided ,which is classed as being within “normal range” I would have been more likely to have been offered, well my parents would have more accurately been offered something for me from a few months old. It’s a hard one. That hits different. Joe explains now any child who is bilaterally deaf or with Bilateral microtia are now offered 2 implants/ aids instead of one. ( I know the lovely lady, our wonderful Microtia Uk founder Liz Jones who changed this after her son Isaac was born with bilateral microtia an was only offered 1 BAHA as this was classed as being “good enough” she challenged this and now its 2 that are offered!)
Once we’ve finished our discussion, Joe goes to see if anyone from Audiology is free to take a look at my processor. A few minutes later, the lovely Anne comes in to take a look . Anne asks how I’m doing ,I say how I’m alright ,and Anne being Anne and knowing me so well asked ” no how are you really doing” she can see right through me,I don’t know honestly how she does it.she tells me how I’m looking a lot better than when she last saw me ( when I was here admitted) can’t lie it’s not hard to look better than what I did. Oh dear I’ve seen the photos.. I haven’t even posted the picture I look horrific.. yikes.. I might show you,but honestly it’s awful and I had no idea until I looked back at it. I explain how it’s makeup doing the talking, which we all laugh off.
Anne takes a look at the magnet to see if we can change it back up to a strength 3. Anne removes the Osia and places it back on and does this a few times,I can tell what the answer is before she even speaks, it seems I too can read her like a book..
Typically of course my Osia behaved while Anne was assessing the magnet strengths, I mean why wouldn’t it? It stays put.. of course it does. 🙄.. I say to Anne how typical this is as its not done it until this morning. I mean why would it not when it’s under watchful eyes? I’m sure it just likes the attention and flirting with everyone..
I knew the answer before it even left Anne’s lips. Anne looked at me and before she could say it I said I know what you’re going to say.. its a no isn’t it? You’re not going to change it back. Anne tries to find a way to soften it,it’s fine she doesn’t need to ” well… its not that I won’t and I’m not saying that ,but to be honest I do want you to stay on a 2″ I tell her it’s fine I knew she was going to say this, I can’t lie I can see the relief in Joe’s face and shoulders too as she says no.
Anne explains her reasoning is that she feels by moving me back to a 3 how she doesn’t feel this is going to benefit me. I know I’m not going to win this one but I try to fight its corner ,I do totally understand where she and Joe are coming from ,really I do,it’s just that the 3 stays put and provides better sound levels and quality.
Anne says , “I tell you what, I will go and get you a 3.”After I explained, my previous one had been confiscated by Ying.. I love how she asked, ” What did you do?” Joe laughed in agreement too.. I’m not that bad, honest .. maybe… 🤣 however she does say you do NOT (she didn’t shout but there’s a lot more empathis on the not) change it , Anne knows me far too well by now.. however she does add ” I know I can trust you” .. I can see Joe’s face behind her, trying not to grin or laugh. Well to be honest all 3 of us are trying not to. We all know how awful I am..
They’re not silly they very much know I will do it and what a pain in the backside I am. I know they’re partly in agreement with me but medically they can’t tell me to do it, morally it’s absolutely a yes.
While Anne leaves the room to go and fetch it. Joe looks at me all serious and says look,I know what your like but please don’t do it, please listen to myself and Anne and follow what we’re saying. If Anne’s told you to stick with the 2 please do it or at least try. Joe expresses that his only concern- I can’t lie it’s one I too very much share and was on my list to discuss.. is that if I go back to a 3 I won’t be able to wear it for as long ,it won’t be anywhere near as much as I can do with a 2,or at least where we hope I can get to anyway. We know it’s highly likely the 3 will impact on my skin and just create a whole host of other issues. The 3 is given to me but we all very much agree it’s a case of having it but trying to forget I’ve got it and only use for real emergencies. To double check I ask Joe, so I need to behave myself then? Yes please Joe replies with a grin.
I do promise I will try, I can’t say I will actually do it,but I will try. Thats got to count for something… right? Usually that wouldn’t even be a thing so that’s got to be progress right?
The plan going forward is very much to keep on as I am, behave with the implant and not to switch it up, ideally Joe doesn’t want things to be escalated the way they have recently ,he explains he knows its not my fault as my GP wouldn’t have known what they were looking at- they’d either massively playing ir down or over exaggerate it and escalate too fast. Joe explains he thinks this is whats happened and how the doctors in a&e and ward round did the same too.
I agree,I really honestly do. I explain how I only went to the GP for the dermatology referral ( yes Joe could have done it but he wouldn’t be able to refer locally ,only across UCLH trust, idea was for me to do dermatology local so referral needed to come from GP) Joe says he totally understands why I had been to the GP and why I had used it as a teaching moment. He doesn’t blame me for that at all. Joe asks if I had been worried by the GP. I wasn’t I do understand where Joe is coming from because if someone, especially medical suggests something even if you don’t think that’s what you have it can create doubt in your mind,but for me that wasn’t the case.. I explain how I would have happily waited until Monday until my parents were home to have spoken to him before escalating it,however my parents caught wind and it was all blown out of the water and proportion.
The plan now is going forward I’m to relay everything to Joe, if it’s an evening or weekend to do what I did and contact the switchboard, get them to contact whoever is on call and get them to get ahold of Joe (they’re the only ones who can get hold of Joe anytime of day or night regardless of him being in work) unless it’s a real dire emergency, or I’m in a lot of pain then I’ve been told to just hot foot it back here and present and to gdt them to admit me until he can get to me.
Joe reassures me that he is not telling me off for my most recent admission saying how I had done everything right,it was all by the book and how he’s pleased I’ve actually behaved and done as I’m told for once. I know it’s impressive isn’t it?! Who knew I had it in me? It’s Old age. I’m sure. I say to Joe how this makes a change doesn’t it, he grins and says “hmm it does a bit”
Joe says how he thinks they’ve put a lot of unnecessary worry and stress on me in that previous admission and how he’s sorry for this. He says how he doesn’t think I’ve coped well it. I didn’t. It’s true. However, that’s down to frustration of things changing with little to no notice, lack of communication and me generally not being able to hear..especially where masks were concerned..
Joe says he thinks everything this admission was all escalated far too quickly I was honest and spoke to him about how awful the admission had been- lack of care, use of masks, nobody knowing who I was or why I was even there for days, and how in general I had massively struggled fo hear so I didn’t have a clue what was going on. I’m honest and say how it was at this point. After days of it, i got upset and frustrated, purely because I didn’t know what was happening, whether I was coming or going. It was really tough, to be honest. I explained how some of the checks weren’t relevant where they didn’t know what I was in for – bum,stomach and belly checks, talking with masks on,no deaf awareness, etc.
Joe has apologised for this. He really doesn’t need to, though it’s not his fault. It’s not anyone’s fault, well I guess to some extent it is when they’re wearing masks or not meeting communication needs such as facing me ,which don’t make listening situations any easier.On the whole it’s nobody’s fault. It’s only my lack of ability to hear that can be blamed on,my anatomy.. on me.. yeah
Joe says he will feed this information back to the team and ensure it is passed on.it may not have been a win for me this appointment, but hopefully it could be a win for others ,or even myself if there’s further admissions and generally an improvement to the services for deaf patients. Going forward, something has to give. I now very much believe anyone can be the change. If my sad, pathetic little voice has raised it with Joe and it’s now being passed on and fedback, anyone can do it..
I’m asked if my parents are more reassured since he spoke to them. I explain how I think they are, but they had just been worried because likewise they too didn’t know what was happening and because I didn’t know myself I was unable to tell them. I explain how I don’t really talk to them about anything, I’m very much I’m fine, it’s fine, irs nothing. My parents just don’t really understand and honestly I’ve given up trying,plus I don’t like seeing them worried so I just keep quiet in areas.
All my parents know is I’m fine, so when I got upset they massively panicked because that’s just not me,I don’t burst into tears. Joe asked if he had got me into trouble and apologised if he had. He definitely hasn’t got me into trouble, he asked if I was sure because he says he had let the cat out of the bag as to what’s really going on. Honestly it’s fine. It’s just I don’t tell them anything so for me to get upset and burst into tears when they’ve never really seen me in that state sent alarm bells ringing , and how I had added to that by going radio silent on the Wednesday, they thought the worst that I had been taken down for emergency surgery.
I’ve had a conversation with my parents about it all and how they’ve told me I’ve got to be honest an open with them and generally just let them in, I don’t have to do this on my own. Thyeve told me I might be strong but I’m not superwoman I’ve got to let them and others in and accept and be honest that I’m not always just “fine”. Joe’s response.. ” right,OK you’re one of those” I am indeed. Joe appreciates me telling him and letting him in on this, see look I’m cracking up ,giving the game away and giving that mask up,my walls are slowly coming down.. question is can I keep it up?
It’s really good that Joe is now aware of this side and element of me. Going forward Joe wants me to try going slowly, slowly being the main word, let him in and open up, and slowly increase the hours of osia usage ,I can’t go from nothing to everything, as much as I’d love to this just isn’t an option. Joe’s been brutally honest and said how if he’s being honest and real with me, how he doesn’t think they’re ever going to get me to a point where I can wear the osia all day everyday, he doesn’t expect this to be realistic for me,nor is it a realistic goal to aim for either. Joe mentions how when he checked the site earlier there is some muscle tension in my neck (right sided) which is a side effect of the implant due to how and where it sits, this could be contributing to the irritation and issues I’ve been having- so I need to learn and figure out how to massage my neck ,as I don’t have anyone to do it for me, challenge very much accepted.
It’s questioned whether I need to be wearing the osia in quiet environments , I haven’t really been wearing it at home. I’m wearing it for 2-3 hours maximum then removing it. I want to do more, but at the moment, I just can’t. We’re setting 3 hours as our goal, and then we will try to move to 4 hours, then 5, and so on.
Joe suggests but quickly retracts a thought that perhaps I shouldn’t use the osia when I’m not on childcare, he retracts saying ” yeah actually on second thought scrap that, because you’re always on childcare aren’t you” I am indeed only times I’m not fully on childcare is when I’m here or choir rehearsals/ performances but both of these are times I need the osia. Joe was very much, yes, point taken, but he was happy, and we laughed it off, which is always the main thing.
I ended up seeing the full team today as Haddy also popped in as she needed something or to speak to Joe or both, I can’t fully remember.. told you I’m popular and very famous around these parts. Everyone is in agreement, though, that I look so much better and healthier – Joe and makeup for the win,so all in all, a really successful appointment.
goshgurl95 